


Talking About the Thing

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: California Dreaming [7]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 17:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/826894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“We just want you to be happy Gideon.  No one wants to be alone for eternity.  If Paloma makes you happy then we’re happy.  Right guys?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talking About the Thing

“Are you guys sure that you don’t mind Paloma coming to the movies with us? When I talked to her and told her that we were going to see Harry Potter tonight, she got excited. Apparently she's a big fan too. She was going to see the same film at the same time so thought it would be a nice idea to go together. But only if it was OK with you guys. This is our family time.”

“Is Paloma your girlfriend?” Cameron asked. He was pouring Doritos into a sandwich bag.

“No, we’re just friends.”

“You should see if she wants to go out with you, Gideon.” Tameka said. “Paloma is really pretty. She's smart and nice too. Plus she likes kids and you’ve got some of those.”

“We’re just friends.” He repeated. 

“It’s OK with me if she comes.” Jake said. “I like that she's a Harry Potter fan…she gets more points in my book.”

“More points for what?” Tameka asked.

“She gets more points toward being Gideon’s girlfriend.”

“Guys…”

“Well you like her don’t you?” Cameron asked.

“She's my friend so the answer to that would be yes.” Jason nodded. “I don’t have a lot of friends but she’s been quite kind to me since we met about four years ago. I like spending time with her.”

“Gideon, I like spending time with her is grownup talk for she’s my girlfriend.” Tashima said. “Its at least grownup talk for I want her to be my girlfriend.”

“I can't win with you guys, can I? Does everyone have the snacks they want? We’re going to get sodas or water at the theater.”

“I can take some brownie bites, right?” Maddie asked.

“If that’s what you want. Meka, can you get the brownies from the top of the fridge?”

“Sure.” the twelve year old nodded. “So is this your first date with Paloma?”

“It’s not a date.”

“When a guy takes a girl to the movies on TV it’s a date.” Cameron said.

“What about when five kids come along?” Jason asked.

“It’s still a date.” Tameka nodded.

“It doesn’t matter what I say at this point, you guys are gonna think it’s a date aren’t you?”

“Pretty much.” they all nodded.

“I don’t know what to say about that one. I need to go back upstairs; I think I left the tickets in my bedroom. Jake, can you make sure the pets are fed before we go out?”

“Got it.” Jake headed out to the backyard.

The other kids went out to the driveway to climb into the car. Jason went up the stairs, walking into the master bedroom. He took his cell phone from his hip and scrolled through until he found Paloma’s number.

“Hi.” She answered the phone.

“Hi. The kids are fine with your meeting us at the movies. There's a high probability that there will be a lot of questions when they see you.”

“They think I'm your girlfriend.”

“Yes.”

“You’ve told them that we’re just friends but they don’t believe you.”

“You're practically quoting them.” Jason said.

“I know kids pretty well. Are you sure you're OK with my coming? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to invade parts of your life that you don’t want invaded.”

“I invited you, Paloma.”

“I know but…” she laughed some. “OK, I’ll meet you outside the theater at 6:15.”

“We’re going to bring our own snacks but plan to buy drinks there.”

“Gotcha. See you in about a half hour.”

“Bye.”

Jason grabbed the tickets off the dresser. He rushed back downstairs and out of the front door. After double checking that the door was locked, he went over to the Suburban. Everyone was already in the car. 

They were headed to the Third Street Cinema. It was about 25 minutes away in Santa Rosa. For the next eight weeks on Friday and Saturday evenings they would be playing the Harry Potter films in order. Jason had already seen all of them in the movies. 

He was a fan of the books and encouraged his kids to read them. They went over well with some, not so much with others. But the films were loved by them all. Tonight they would see _The Sorcerer’s Stone_.

“Are we ready?” he put the key in the ignition.

“I'm ready!” Maddie exclaimed.

Jason smiled as he checked the rearview mirror and moved down the driveway. He was glad to see the seven year old happy. She still struggled to deal with her mother going to jail and the judge placing her up for adoption. Jason knew that right now Maddie felt secure. The feeling could be snatched away with one phone call. He wanted her to enjoy every moment of this evening together.

***

Paloma waved when she saw them walking down the street. The kids all said hello as soon as they were close enough. After an awkward couple of seconds, she pulled Jason into a quick and friendly hug.

“I believe there's one person you haven’t met.” Jason put his hand on Maddie’s shoulder. “Maddie Richards, this is Paloma Watson.”

“It’s so nice to meet you Maddie.” She extended her hand.

“It’s nice to meet you too.” After shaking Paloma’s hand she turned back to Jason. “She is really pretty…she should be your girlfriend.”

“I think you were supposed to wait until I wasn’t around to say that.” Paloma replied smiling.

“Oh.”

“C'mon guys,” Jason held the door to the theater open. “We don’t want to miss any of the movie and still have to get in line for concessions.”

“What's a concession?” Maddie asked.

“That just means popcorn and soda and stuff.” Tashima said.

“Oh.”

Jason let the kids walk ahead as he hung back with Paloma. She looked beautiful in her jeans, flats, and red tee shirt with a white star in the middle. He wanted to tell her but wasn’t sure how. Just saying it would've been simple. Too bad Jason Gideon didn't do simple as well as normal people.

“I like your shoes.” She said.

“I was going for Mister Rogers chic.” He looked down at his oxfords. They went well with his khakis and blue tee shirt.

“It’s a good look on you.”

“You look beautiful too.”

“Is this the part when I slip my hand really quickly in yours before the kids can notice?” Paloma asked.

“They notice everything. I thought adults had eyes in the back of their heads. Kids have eyes and ears.”

“We’ll be in the dark soon.” She smiled.

“I promise to be a gentleman.”

“I like it when you're gentle.”

***

“You should hang out with us all the time, Paloma.” Tashima said as they were all walking out of the theater. “Or, you know, you can just hang out with Gideon if you want to.”

“They're never going to stop.” He looked at her but she was smiling.

“I like hanging out of with all of you.”

“And Gideon too?” Cameron asked.

“I like hanging out with Gideon too.” She nodded.

“Do you want to come back to the house?” Jason asked. He couldn’t believe he’d drummed up the courage to say something in front of the kids. They'd never let him live it down. “We can have a beer and relax a little?”

“I’d like that.” Paloma said. “I can meet you guys there.”

“OK.”

“Can I stay up and hang out with you and Paloma?” Maddie asked.

“You have to get up in the morning to go to the Saturday Reading Club at the library.” Jason reminded her.

“Oh yeah.”

“Does everyone have plans tomorrow?” Paloma asked as they walked back out into the warm Santa Rosa night. There were plenty of people leaving the theater and a fair share going in. The group headed back to the parking lot and their cars.

“I'm going to play baseball.” Cameron raised his hand.

“Tashima and I will be at the Community Center for volleyball and stuff.” Tameka said.

“I'm working on my Tony Hawk skills with some friends at the skate park.” Jake replied.

“He's getting really good.” Jason said looking at her. Paloma had that look on her face. He knew that look…he liked that look.

“It definitely sounds like you guys keep busy.”

“Gideon wants us to have agile bodies and minds.” Tashima said. “I think next year I want to try field hockey.”

“I do encourage as much as I can that they learn and play. You're only young once; you should enjoy as much of it as you can.”

“You can enjoy being an adult too.” Paloma said. “It has some advantages.”

“Adults can drive and that’s fun.” Cameron said.

“Adults can stay up late.” Maddie said.

“Adults can buy _Playboy_.” Jake said.

“Jake…”

“What?” the teen looked back at Jason. “It’s true. They put that brown paper over it so you can't see it in the store.”

“You're digging the hole even deeper dude.” Tashima shook her head as Paloma laughed.

“We’ll walk Paloma to her car and then its homeward, guys.” Jason said.

“Can we stop for milkshakes?” Cameron asked.

“You had a Slurpee in the movies, Cam. That Mountain Dew should keep you bouncing off the walls until past a time I'm comfortable with.”

“Can we listen to Garfunkel songs on the way home?” Maddie asked.

“Now that we can do.” Jason nodded.

“I'm over there.” Paloma gestured toward her car as they walked through the lot.

“What kind of car do you drive?” Tameka asked.

“I have a Dodge Charger. I've had it for about a year and I love it.”

“They're badass.” Jake said.

“Language, Jacob.” 

“Sorry. It’s a cool car though.”

She was pretty, smart, funny, and drove a cool car. Jake had no idea why Gideon wasn’t trying harder to date her. Maybe he was and the kids just didn't see it. Gideon was one of those kinds of guys. He had his own secrets; he probably had a million of them. 

He wore a perpetual poker face at all times. Jake had seen other sides of him but he wasn’t completely open. There was nothing wrong with that but how were they supposed to know what he was thinking and feeling? For all Jake knew Gideon and Paloma could’ve been dating for years. He just brought her around them because the couple was about to take it to the next level or something.

“Earth to Jake.” Tameka laughed. “Where are you going?”

“Huh?” Jake stopped walking and realized he was about three feet away from everyone else. They had stopped in front of Paloma’s car but he kept going. “Oh my bad, I was thinking too hard. Whoa that is a sweet car.”

“Thanks Jake. I had a really good time with all of you tonight.”

“We’ll have to do it again sometime.” Cameron said.

“I’d like to.” Paloma smiled and nodded. She lowered her voice just a little to talk to Jason. He was standing close to her and Paloma could practically see the kids’ ears grow as they struggled to hear. “I'm going to put gas in the car and then I’ll come over. Do you want me to grab a six-pack or something? It won't be the cheap stuff.”

“We don’t need overpriced beer.” Jason squeezed her hand. “It’s been a while since I've been on the High Life Express.”

“Oh you're on, Gideon.”

When she used the keyless entry to unlock her door, Jason opened it for her. She climbed inside and he closed the door. Moving over with the kids, Jason waved as Paloma pulled out of the spot and headed to the parking lot exit.

“She's awesome.” Cameron said. They began the walk to their car.

“Don’t miss that train, Gideon.” Tameka gave him a friendly nudge. “Some other dude is gonna come and sweep her off her feet.”

“She has to be beating the dudes off with a stick.” Jake added.

“It really doesn’t matter how much I tell you guys we’re just friends, does it?” Jason asked.

“Not really.” Tashima shook her head. “Guys have needs, women have needs…sometimes they need those things together. It's nature.”

Jason shook his head. He was going to sit them all down and have the talk again. He and Jake had a very uncomfortable but mostly effective one last year when the teen had a crush on one of his classmates. Though the twins were only 12 and Cameron 11, kids were starting early now. They were hitting puberty and things were happening in their bodies and brains that they had little control of. As a parent Jason had to make sure to address all these issues. He just didn't want to use him and Paloma as an example.

“Just tell us that you two are a thing.” Tameka said. “We just want you to be happy Gideon. No one wants to be alone for eternity. If Paloma makes you happy then we’re happy. Right guys?”

“Right.” they all said in unison.

“I don’t know what you mean by a thing.” Jason lied as he unlocked the Suburban. “I like Paloma and she likes me. We’re getting to know each other as people. We enjoy spending time together. And that’s all I'm gonna say.”

“I'm gonna say you owe me five bucks Tashima.” Jake held out his hand. “I so told you they were a thing.”

“Gideon, can I borrow five dollars?”

***

_I got a love jonz for your body and your skin tone  
Five minutes alone I'm already on the bone   
Plus I love the fact you got a mind of your own   
No need to shop around you got the good shit at home_

“Who are you?”

“I'm not sure I understand the question.”

Paloma sat up some and looked at him. They had been sitting on the back porch glider, drinking beer and listening to music. She’d grabbed one the CDs from her car; it was a CD that helped her relax. Some of her favorite love songs played and this one happened to be Method Man and Mary J. Blige. Paloma was a huge Mary J. Blige fan.

“You know John Hughes, you know Method Man; you're just…”

“I knew a young man once and he was a big hip-hop fan. It wasn’t just about going out and dancing to it. He knew the history of it, the aesthetics, the metaphor, the music; he appreciated the truth and beauty of it. He showed that beauty to me. Do I have a thousand and one rap records upstairs, no? But there are some that I know and have come to love. This happens to be one of them.”

“So you know an encyclopedia and a rap aficionado?” she asked.

“Yes, I used to.”

“What are their names?”

“Spencer Reid and Derek Morgan.” Jason replied.

“You know them from the FBI?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

Paloma nodded too and went back to resting against his chest. She sipped her beer, taking a deep breath. Jason wrapped her arm tighter around her and she cuddled closer. It was quiet outside, just them and the music. It didn't play too loud as this was the kind of neighborhood that rolled up the sidewalks when the sun went down. As Method Man changed into 70s era Chicago, he kissed her temple and it made her shiver.

“My wife was murdered.” He said. “I know that’s probably a lousy way to start a conversation and I apologize. There’s no way to ease into something like that. It was the week before Mother’s Day of 1994 and she was shot by a dumbass trying to rob a jewelry store. 

“She wasn’t even supposed to be there. The owner kept the place open a few minutes late for her so she could pick up the brooch she bought for her mother. It’s something that happens in other people’s families. It happens to them everyday and that’s why I did what I did for so long. Then one day it happened to mine.”

“I'm sorry for your loss.”

She wanted to say something different, something better, but didn't know what. He lost his wife a long time ago. Paloma didn't know Jason then and she didn't know his late wife either. She was sorry though. Having never suffered a loss like that, she really had no idea what he’d been through. She knew pain though, everyone did, and she felt it just hearing the tone of his voice.

“Years later I lost another woman I cared for very much. Sarah had been my first college sweetheart and even though we didn't end up together we were always good friends. Someone murdered her. Someone awful murdered her to take revenge on me.”

“Did you catch him?” Paloma asked. She sat up now, turned and looked at him. She wanted Jason to see her face, feel her presence, and know that even if he did go back to that moment he didn't have to go alone.

“Yes and no.” Jason closed his eyes. “We cornered him and he walked in front of a train. It was the case that um, I was never the same after that.”

“It led to your resignation.”

“I didn't just resign. I packed up and got the hell out of there. I didn't want to be a part of the FBI. I didn't want to walk down the streets of DC. 

“I didn't want to look at the faces of the people who had been part of my life for decades in one way or another. Everything was dark and I was struggling to find the light. There were real moments when I thought I never would. I considered letting the darkness have me.”

“You contemplated suicide.” She put her beer down by her feet and took both his hands.

“I contemplated a lot of things. The truth is that I didn't know if I would make it. I just got in the car and drove. Maybe I figured if I still felt what I felt when I got to the Pacific Ocean I would just walk in and let the waves wash me away. I never thought I’d be here, Paloma. I never thought you'd be here. There must be a reason.”

“You're in those kids’ lives for a reason. I think you're in mine for a reason as well. What you’ve been through I can't even imagine.”

“You’ve dealt with some truly sad things yourself.” Jason said. “You deal with it day in and day out. I'm just a college professor now.”

“You’ve got the whole Educating Rita thing going.” Paloma smiled as she stroked his beard. She had a thing for facial hair. She definitely had a thing for Gideon’s facial hair. “I like it.”

“I'm not sure I can ever be what you need me to be, Paloma.”

Jason didn't want to say that. He never wanted her to think he test drove the car but didn't really want it. He didn't know how to tell her that he was scared. Jason was scared, thrilled, excited, worried, and curious all in the same breath. It was quite tiring. He thought he might be too old to be so tired.

“Do you know what I need you to be?”

“What?” he stroked her hands, which were still on his face.

“I need you to be Jason. I need you to be the intelligent, beautiful, moody, sweet, delightful man that you are. I like that man…I've liked him for some time. I don’t want to rush this. 

“I don't even know what this is. Why don’t we just enjoy each other’s company and the rest is the rest? I don’t need labels and expectations and definitions. I've been there, done that, and it didn't work out in my favor.”

“Everyone wants to know what they mean to someone.” Jason said.

“So tell me what I mean to you.” she said.

“Something; all I know at this moment is that it’s something.”

Paloma smiled and she kissed him. Jason moaned softly, pulling her closer to him. After the kiss they just held each other for a while. He hadn't talked that much about his past in a long time. 

He never talked about his past with anyone. The fear of those wounds cracking open and bleeding again was real…it was palpable. Holding Paloma, he didn't feel it. Jason felt something but it wasn’t that neverending pain.

“I'm going to finish this beer and then I should probably go.”

“Its Friday night.” Jason said. “Do you have plans for tomorrow?”

“I happen to be free.” She moved out of his arms and picked up her beer. It was her second but she didn't worry about driving. “What about you?”

“My schedule is pretty open…for a change.”

“We can get together; see where the day takes us.”

She didn't want for him to answer. She just sat back in his arms with her beer and exhaled. Paloma wasn’t going to pretend that being in a relationship, or even trying to be in a relationship with Jason Gideon, would be easy. She also had no intention of running. That had never been her thing. 

When she wanted something, she went after it. He wasn’t a Masters degree or a surfboard or even a mountain. Jason was flesh and blood; he was a man and he had his share of problems. Paloma wasn’t perfect and didn't want him to think she was. 

She still thought they could be good for each other. Was it destined to work? She had no idea. Was she going to give up without a fight? No way in hell.

“Let’s listen to Mary J. Blige again.” he said, reaching back to CD player to find the song.

“That’s an excellent idea.”

Jason would definitely add this song to his list of favorites. There wasn’t a chance of his ever hearing it again and not thinking of her. He would think of Paloma, summer nights, and Miller High Life. It would be a good memory. Jason wanted to collect more good memories than bad ones. He was old now and wasn’t sure it was possible. Paloma, his kids, and summer nights made him want to try.

***


End file.
